Specialist

I remember being excited to go see the specialists at Drexel OB/GYN. I looked them up online and many argue they are the best in the country. I felt my problems were finally going to be solved. I went with my mom on the first visit. Dr. Nyirjesy examined me, which was again, extremely painful. My knees would shake, but I found if I just focused on slow, steady breathing, I was able to make it through. However, the area burned and stayed at an elevated pain level several hours after the exam. He then called me into his office to ask me several questions. I opted to have my mom stay with me in the room. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful relationship with her. It's important to me to tell her everything in my life and because of that, she is the best support system I could have. 

After going through an intense questioning period, the doctor confirmed that I did have vulvar vestibulitis. The inside of my vagina was perfectly normal, and all tests came back negative.  He said that there are multiple treatments of VVS because it is a highly individualized condition. Different things work for different people. He was going to start me with Estrace, a cream I would apply twice daily to the painful area. It was supposed to increase my levels of estrogen and get my body back to normal. The doctor told me that 75% of women get better because of Estrace. I walked out of the building feeling confident and relieved. I finally got answers and was going to get better.

Unfortunately, I used Estrace for six weeks, and my pain only got worse. I dreaded applying the cream twice every day because it hurt so much to put it on. And it wasn't a short pain- I hated it because I had to deal with it throughout my day. It was so difficult. I felt I was living with this big secret. No one could see I was sick, so I had to act like I was fine. I just wanted everyone to know exactly what was wrong and to understand what I was going through. Even though I had the support of my family and my ex-boyfriend, I felt I was carrying the burden by myself.

The second time I went back to the specialist, I had to go by myself because my parents both had to work. I did not see Dr. Nyirjesy because he was on vacation, so I saw Dr. Weitz instead, a woman who had worked with Dr. Nyirjesy for years. I was actually pleased to finally see a woman doctor. It just made more sense to me because I could connect better with her. The exam was absolutely excruciating. I could tell immediately I had gotten much worse- she said the area was inflamed and red. However, my tests on the inside still came back negative. We later met in her office and I just broke down in tears. I am not the sort of person who cries often. I don't cry at movies, reading books, at funerals, when I'm hurt, I just don't. But in the office that day, before she barely even started talking, I broke down. Because it was getting so much worse and I was so confident six weeks ago that I was almost at the end of the struggle. And Dr. Weitz proceeded to tell me that there is no cure for VVS as of now. We are simply trying to get the pain levels under control. But like a chronic pain condition, there will be flare ups. I could barely absorb the words. This was something I was going to have to deal with for the rest of my life. I could no longer see the end of the tunnel. It was no longer something I had to beat, but something that I had to learn to carry with me. I was hysterical and I was alone. I got back to my ex-boyfriend's apartment later that night and broke down even more. I became so upset, he called my parents because he had never seen me like this before. I consider myself a strong person, and very rarely do I break. I'm a tennis player here at the college and although I may not have the best strokes as everyone, I always fight through every point. And I always have the strongest mental game, pushing my opponents to three sets, refusing to give up. That night I gave up because I didn't see how I was going to do this.

But, sure enough, I woke to a new day. I began my new treatment prescribed by Dr. Heitz. I applied a steorid cream twice a day to the area and took Elavil, an anti-depressant. For some reason, anti-depressant medication is used for many chronic pain patients. You have to build your tolerance to Elavil, so I started at 10 mg (one pill) and increased by 10 each week, ultimately building up to 150 mg! However, as you will learn in my next post, I only made it to 60 mg.