"Birds make great sky-circles
of their freedom.
How do they learn it?
They fall, and falling,
they are given wings."

-Rumi (translated by Coleman Barks)

Monday, June 14, 2010

Freedom

I want to begin by thanking my family for taking such good care of me through this recovery process- I say it repeatedly, but my strength comes from them. Thank you also to all my friends who have come visited me- some have come for almost every surgery I go through. It's important for me to realize that I'm not going through any of this alone, and most importantly that there are more levels to our friendships. Finally, a big thank you to all of you who have sent me warm inspirational emails before and after my surgery. Every time I get an email I remember that I'm not alone and what I'm doing is making a difference to some people.

Recovery is going really well. I'm in a great place and looking forward to the rest of the summer. My surgery was very successful- I did indeed have a big tear (bigger than my left hip) that was repaired, as well as a bone spur that was shaved down, and a tendon that was released. After the procedure, I woke up in the recovery room in a lot of pain, but it lessened once they were able to give me medication. Again, the Hospital for Special Surgery was wonderful and I continued to be impressed by them. It was a same day procedure, so I came home and have since been resting and improving. Things are moving along a lot faster than last summer. I was off pain medicine in two days and have been walking up stairs. It's been a little over a week, so I got my stitches out today and started walking without crutches. Now it's just a matter of strengthening my muscles once more. I'm starting physical therapy and planning on going three times a week and dedicating my summer to rehabilitating correctly.

I have an appointment in a week with my rheumatologist to go over my x-ray and bloodwork results. I'm anxious to see if they found anything. I'm also going to keep an eye on my pelvis, and might need an additional surgery to correct those tears a bit later on. I keep getting asked if the surgery has made my pain go away- no results yet. But it usually takes up to a year to finally see if it worked. Right now I'm not focusing on how my body feels- it still needs time to recover and regain its strength.

I haven't worked out in a long time. I miss the adrenaline and sweat and aches. It's frustrating sitting and waiting when all I want to do is go out and enjoy my remaining time before I begin my job. A big part of me is missing. I feel pretty vulnerable without it. And it doesn't help that I still need to be taken care of. But for now I'm going to focus on regaining my strength. I can't work out my lower body too much, so I'll compensate with my upper body. And I might not be able to do the summer activities that I want, but I will improvise. So take that, life.

3 comments:

Ali said...

I'm so glad to hear that you're already walking! You're truly amazing - keep with it :)

Esther said...

Hey Tamra! My friend just linked me to this....

http://www.hipfai.com/

It sounds a lot like you, and as last I remember you were searching for the reason you had multiple tears, maybe this is it! Or maybe your doctors have already ruled it out :)

As I wrote in my last blog post, my hip is worse, and my mom has the same symptoms. Thank YOU for blogging about your hip as it has angled my consideration outside of vulva-specific problems. I'm going to get my hip thought about :) by a doc as soon as I can.

Tamra said...

@Ali- Thank you so much for reading. You are equally amazing.

@Esther- Thanks for this info- it does sound like me, my doctor has shaved down my bone. I actually found new info out which I'll be posting shortly. I'm so happy to hear you're getting your hip looked at!