"Birds make great sky-circles
of their freedom.
How do they learn it?
They fall, and falling,
they are given wings."

-Rumi (translated by Coleman Barks)

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Birthday Wishes

For the past 5 years I have stared at the candles in front of me and wished for the pain to go away. There were even a few birthdays I refused to leave bed because I was so defeated. Last year my pain levels drastically improved, but I still felt unsure about the future and scared of flare-ups. I was also still going prolotherapy and wasn't sure how many more treatments I'd have to endure.

I used to be frightened that I was in control of my health decisions- what doctors to see, what treatments to try, what medication to take. I wanted a magical fix, someone to take control for me and make it all go away. I didn't realize that I was the one who needed to be in control, needed to be proactive, needed to make lifestyle changes to maintain my health. I have finally accepted there is no singular solution. My body necessitates daily stretching, vigorous exercise, proper nutrition, mental strengthening, and commitment. I am completely in control, which no longer frightens me but empowers me. Not only has this experience shaped my professional life, but it's given me a greater quality of life. I am currently in the best shape of my life, and getting stronger every day. When I do have flare-ups, I know exactly what muscles are tight and what combination of modalities and stretching I can do to abolish the symptoms. Pain is no longer this nebulous and exhausting cloud weighing me down, but an identifiable problem I can fix.

I have been so focused on my health and school that I forgot to make a 5 year anniversary post. As I scroll back to my earlier posts, I cannot believe how much I have been molded and reshaped. It has and continues to be a transformative process. I have met some incredible people along the way and continue to be inspired.

What's even more incredulous to me then turning 25 tomorrow is that when I stare down at those candles, for the first time in five years, I won't know what wish to make.

3 comments:

by Wendy Leaumont said...

The ONLY thing that works for VV is Pelvic physical therapy. If you want to know how I was cured from my VV, Please email me. I have recently gotten over my symptoms by going to a physical therapist who knew what she was doing!! I had been to therapy before and it did NOT work because it was the wrong approach. Please email me if you'd like to hear about how I've gotten over this. My case was one of the worst the docs had EVER seen. wendyATleaumontDOTcom - Wendy

L said...

Let's all just be incredibly happy for Tamra and wish her a wonderful birthday!! Twenty-five is such a great year and you have so much to celebrate!! Happy Birthday!!

Jennifer Rose said...

I have a huge question & I'm not sure where else to ask I have severe endometriosis, ic, pelvic floor dysfunction, fibromyalgia, & God only knows what else. But for myPFD & IC ice packs really help but when I'm away from the house they're not so easy to get hold of. On MTV's true life you had instant ice packs that were longer & skinny, I've been searching & can't find any like that. Could you please if you know let me know what brand they are & maybe where you got them?!?! I hope you're still doing good! My email is Jennifer.rose112@gmail.com it wasn't until I watched the episode with you & the other 2 ladies that I knew what I had. I did research on pelvic muscle conditions & brought it up to my dr who finally listened. Thank you for sharing your story, I know It's not an easy one to share!