Three days into my tennis trip in California I got very sick with a 101.2 fever and a diagnosis of pharyingitis, tonsilitis, and sinusitus. Sometimes I feel I can't catch a break. I've spent a good amount of these past 10 days on the couch trying to get my energy back. It hasn't been easy watching the rest of the team being able to play tennis and have fun on their spring break. I think I get so frustrated when I'm sick because I hate watching on the sidelines. I live such an active life, and I don't know how to get it back.
I can handle being sick on spring break and having one vacation ruined. But I cannot handle sitting on the sidelines of my college life. Doctor appointments take up an entire day, valuable time that I can't afford to lose. And if I start physical therapy soon, then that's hours and hours I lose out of each week. Everyone keeps telling me to relax and drop some of the responsibilities I have and focus on getting better. They think it would be best to not participate in as many activities. So far I've been stubborn and refused to let that happen. I feel if I give up some of my passions, I will not be the same person anymore. And if I do try to relax, how do we know when I'm going to get better? I knew that if I rested this vacation, that I would get better and by the time I get back to New Jersey, I will be able to start practicing tennis again. Because I knew I would get better if I rested, it was easier to sit out these past 10 days.
But even if I sit out of activities at school, I still don't know that my VVS will get better. Isn't it better to keep on living your life they way you want to, no matter how hard it gets? If I do less, I may even feel worse because this condition will be affecting me even more. I find myself at a stalemate. Which is the best option? Have any other women found that by relaxing their lifestyle, they have seen better results? Or have you become stronger by maintaining your lifestyle and refusing to submit?
4 comments:
I think it can go either way. I know when I was struggling with a lot of emotional issues, staying active was the only thing that kept me from falling apart all the time. Yeah, it'd be good to give yourself time to relax and just chill, but sometimes that relaxation time turns into the times where you sit and think about how bad things seem. I think the best you can do at this point is to try to keep your life normal, unless/until it becomes too much. If your grades are dropping, or you're exhausted all the time, then it's time to think about dropping some things.
Hey Tamra,
It's Trista. I just read your entire blog today, and I want to tell you what a wonderful and inspiring person you are. The fact that you don't want to give up some activities is not being stubborn; it's being human. We cannot help but want things to remain the same when life gets hard. In the long run, you have to do what is best for you. Figure out what you love most, and fight like hell to keep it. If activities are presenting you with more stress than joy, drop them. Doing less is not quitting; it is redefining what is important to you at this point in your life. What you are doing right now in trying to spread awareness in order to help others shows what a truly remarkable person you are, someone who I am thankful to count among my friends. Stay strong and never give up because YOU ARE LOVED! (I think that song is awesome too!)
Love and hugs,
Trista
Hey Tamra,
I know we haven't seen each other in a long time, but I read your blog and seriously, you're so inspiring. I know it hard having to take it easy when you're not well. This summer I had an awful stomach ulcer, we didn't know what it was until I started passing out and I couldn't eat. Its taken months now of medicine and taking it slow for it to start getting better. There was a lot of things I wanted to do this year, but because I struggled to get through another band season I was too tired to audition for a show, something I'd promised myself I'd start doing again. Sometimes its hard living a "stress free" life, especially when compared to my overachieving roommate I look like a bum. But I know if I start getting myself stressed again, it'll come back. I know an ulcer's very different from your condition, but I promise some rest and relaxation will make a world of difference. My advice is to keep up one activity you love and dedicate yourself to it as much as you can without straining yourself. But keeping up your health will promise a lot more opportunities for the future. Don't think if it as doing less, think of it as an opportunity to start doing something for you (for me it was drawing). Keep your chin up!
~Colleen
Tamra,
I've just started reading your blog. I hope you've made a decision about your stalemate by this point. I'm not sure if this helps, but what I would consider is that just like a person who isn't afflicted you will never get this time back. Do what you think is most valuable. If you find that your activities are making the condition worse that is one thing, but I understand that the waiting might be unbearable. Don't feel pressured to wait. Live your life. You are still you.
Post a Comment