More Injections

I was incorrect in my counting- today was actually the 6th week of injections. I have signed up for 6 more, so I will be going until mid-October. I'm so frustrated right now. The nurse practitioner did my injections this morning because Nyirjesy tends to be very busy. I was a little worried, but she was wonderful and knew what she was doing. Plus it was nice to have a female doctor for once- she seemed to be able to connect better. She also thought about things only females would- like giving me a pad to wear after today's injections so the blood wouldn't get all over.

The injections didn't go too well today- they hurt a lot, especially on the left side. Cynthia told me that the results could change very suddenly, so I'm still hoping for a miracle one of the next 6 weeks. As much as I'm trying to stay positive, I'm pretty depressed today. It's so hard to walk into that hospital week after week, and then come out with nothing good to report.

What frustrates me to no end is that I can't properly explain my feelings to many people. This is not about wanting to have sex again. I would sign sex away for the rest of my life today if it would mean I could be healthy again. I don't care about that. I care about being healthy. I care about not having to worry every day. I care about not having to deal with the sudden stabs of pain when they come. I talked with my parents today and they said maybe I need to seriously consider stopping tennis- maybe it's too much. I would never ever quit tennis, and nothing could make me do so. But now I'm wondering if maybe I need to make the hard decision for myself. Nyirjesy said he's never treated a high-intensity athlete before, and I'm curious to try and find other women athletes with vulvar vestibulitis. I wonder if exercise does put more strain on the area and maybe I am limiting my recovery by continuing to play.

But this also goes back to the post about doing what makes me happy. I don't want to compromise my life because of my health situation- I feel like that would make me even more depressed. I just don't know what the right answer is right now. Either way, I'm going to have to make many difficult choices very soon. I think I'm going to look into the physical therapists posted on the entry below if these injections fail to work.

I was also just emailed about a study being conducted in Pittsburgh on women with vulvar vestibulitis- if you are near to the area, they say it only takes 2 doctor visits. Contact me for more information. I believe I'm a little too far to help, but I'm still going to call them and see what I can do.