"Birds make great sky-circles
of their freedom.
How do they learn it?
They fall, and falling,
they are given wings."

-Rumi (translated by Coleman Barks)

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Three's a charm

Thursday marked my third prolotherapy treatment and it went much better than anticipated. I'd like to say I walked in with a larger batch of courage, but I think it had a lot to do with the two Demerol injections I received at the office.

But sure, let's say I was much better prepared this go around. Really, I was. I did yoga the day before to balance my chi. I had a fun, relaxing night. I woke up feeling confident and ready for the challenge ahead. I brought earphones and made a rockin' Beethoven playlist in the car. I did not take the Xanax and felt like myself. I walked in the office, on time, with a clear and steady mind. I was immediately brought back by the nurse where I signed the necessary paperwork, and then got a Demerol injection into my hip by my specialist. Both he and my super tall nurse remarked how bony my hips were and I smiled. Then, I took off my pants and put on the open-backed hospital gown, and positioned myself on the table. Then the whole crew came in- my dad, doctor, and the nurse and I was asked if I felt the Demerol. I did not feel much of a difference, so I received a second injection into my hip, and then we began.

I put on my headphones and transported myself into a different place of symphonies and high vaulted concert halls and standing ovations. My dad and I also worked on my breathing, which I was able to control this time. In all honesty, the whole process went very smoothly. Yes I still felt pain, but it was nothing compared to the previous two times. In fact, I was in high spirits and attempting a few jokes. We tried to take pictures of all the long needles sticking out of my butt and hips so I could feel like a badass. Or a pin cushion. Now you see why I was only attempting jokes. Don't worry, pictures will never go up here.

We went a bit longer than the previous two treatments, around an hour and fifteen minutes. I think we tackled more spots in different locations, especially my lower back- lumbar area specifically. I'm hopeful that this all might be working because examination felt better in certain area we hit aggressively last time. Soon I will also be getting an MRI of my lower back to see if there are any nerve structure issues. The doctor wants this new information to better treat me in the future. I also received my first treatments on the anterior portion of my body. Using very small needles, Dr. Magaziner injected all of my hip scars, as well as my two long pelvis scars.

I feel the need to reiterate how well the treatment went. I was on quite the high because I felt I was ahead for once. It was the same feeling I get after reaching a summit. Nothing can touch you.

The Demerol did not make me hazy and I still felt I had control over myself. Unfortunately the side effects of Demerol include nausea, so I went to lie down in the room next door after we were finished. I did not get sick, and the doctor quickly injected my hip with some anti-nausea medication.

Back at home, I got in bed and put some ice on all the areas that were injected. I was very sore, especially feeling pain in my lower back and hips. Bending over was definitely not an option. I rested in bed all day, and spent most of the time sleeping off the Demerol. When I woke up in the morning, I still felt a lot of pain in my hips and lower back, making it difficult to move around. So the recovery was a bit more difficult than previous times. But I woke up today (two days later) feeling almost as good as new. The important things were to lay down, rest, and ice.

It's been a pretty crazy week. Monday I was in the emergency room for a terrible terrible ear injection. I missed my second anatomy lecture because of it. I'm frustrated how much my body continues to fight against me, but I try to remain levelheaded. Some days I just want to burst. I'm tired of being stuck- I want to wake up and go for a run. I want to go out and dance. I want to play tennis. I want to climb. I want to push my body and embrace it. But I know I must stay patient and wait and heal and work through it.

I can do this. I can do this. We can do this. Some days we walk ablaze with hope, and some days we just continue.

If you are in need of some hope, I've got a great dose of it right here: A young deaf woman hears for the first time. Imagine what it will be like to feel healthy again and let's keep on together.

3 comments:

Karen said...

I loved reading this. Balancing mind and body, especially when in chronic pain, is beyond difficult. So inspirational-thank you!!

Bonnie said...

Hi Tamra! Thank you so much for this post! I read it on the exact day I needed it:) This is Bonnie B, an old pelvic pain buddy of yours:) I'm still on my healing journey; traveled to San Fran in August to a week-long PT clinic and it was a wonderfully healing experience; now I'm taking some time of of work and am focusing on my healing 100 percent for the first time since my pain started. Going to PT weekly and doing a bunch of other stuff...just getting impatient, so thank you for the reminder that healing comes, but it takes doing the work and time:) Sending love and light! xoxo, Bonnie:)

Kathy Doherty said...

Hi Tamra
This is your new patient, Kathy D.... I am reading your story and feeling such empathy and also such admiration for your courage and persistence. I can see that there are answers out there, ..I even recognize a comment or two such as the one from Bonnie B. I think I remember her from a group called "Happy Pelvis" that I was in when my pain first began as urinary issues.

I still am scared, but your blog inspires me and gives me hope for my future. For me , having hope and re-assuracne is the one of the most important elements in my healing process. I am alsos wondering if prolotherapy would be helpful for me.. (I looked into that, but haven't tried it..

Thank you for writing your story, I look forward to working with you!