I didn't want to fall asleep last night because I knew I'd have to come back to reality today. I didn't want to be reminded of the battle I'm still fighting. It's an exhausting thing to deal with day after day and I just want to be rid of it. As much as I tried to stay in bed today, I had to eventually wake up and drive with my mom into Philadelphia. The people at the OB/GYN at Hahnemann Hospital are extremely warm and friendly towards me, but it doesn't help. I hate being in that waiting room, that examining room, that office. My body immediately stiffens when I walk in and my vulva pulses with pain because it knows what's going to happen.
I went through the standard exam, which hurt a lot more than the last time I went. I expected this because I hadn't been using the creams for 6 weeks. After a quick exam, we went into the office and talked about our options. It seems like I'm down to three options.
1. Do nothing. Sometimes VVS goes away as mysteriously as it arrives. However, most of the statistics show that if you've had it for longer than 6 months, there's a very small chance it will go away on its own. I am coming up on one year with VVS, so it seems like it's here to stay unless I do something about it myself.
2. Steroid Injections. I go into the office once a week for 6 weeks and get two needles inserted. If I am doing better after those 6 weeks, I continue the injections for another 6 weeks. About 50- 60% of patients are cured from the injections.
3. Surgery. I talked about this in previous posts. Surgery is a 3 month healing process, with absolutely no physical activity for 6 weeks. 70% are cured, 20% are better, and 10% remain unchanged.
I really thought that I was going to schedule my surgery this visit. I am so frustrated with this whole process and a quick fix sounded so wonderful. But as my doctor is explaining the surgery, I realized that he's talking about cutting and stitching up my vagina. It's a big part of me and not something I should be taking so lightly. As much as I would love for all of this to be over, I can't rush into surgery. One of the main reasons I didn't opt for surgery this visit is because I play tennis. I'd have to get the surgery in August, before school starts, which would mean I'd miss the fall tennis season completely. And I love the sport and my team too much to do that. Surgery would also ruin the rest of my summer and I wouldn't be able to go on our annual family vacation to Maine and many other things.
This is why I decided my next step is steroid injections. My doctor is on vacation for two weeks, but starting on the dreaded 23rd of this month, I will be getting two needles inserted into my pain region once a week at 8 AM. I have to admit, I'm very scared. Right now I am jumping off the table in pain when the doctor uses a q-tip to press against different areas of my vulva. I can't and don't want to even imagine what needles are going to feel like. There's also no way for him to numb the area at all. He said it's very painful and I'll be a little red and swollen afterwards, but at least I can still do physical activity.
I don't know how I'm feeling right now. It's hard to describe. I'm feeling hopeful, but I'm also worried because my options are slowly fading away. What happens if I'm still in pain and there are no more options left? I'm also petrified to go in and get these needles by myself. I usually am pretty independent, but I would love to have someone there to hold my hand. I am just shocked at what the body can go through. But I guess it can always be worse.
Anyway, that's the update for today. If you've ever gotten steroid injections, please let me know anything or everything about them so I can be prepared.
To all my sisters out there going through this with me- please keep fighting. We can do this.
To all my readers- thank you for taking your time to listen and please educate others.
Until next time.
