"Birds make great sky-circles
of their freedom.
How do they learn it?
They fall, and falling,
they are given wings."

-Rumi (translated by Coleman Barks)

Sunday, March 2, 2008

"Coming Out"

It's been a little over a day since I made this blog public, and I am already relieved I made it. I have been getting great positive feedback. I really think this was a good step and it's already helping me. It's such a relief to let the big secret out and be able to talk about everything in my life. One thing I forgot to do was allow anonymous comments on the blog- that is now activated, so please feel free to leave comments- it could be your own personal experiences, advice, support, questions, anything. I need to begin to catch up on all my work, but I wanted to make a list of some preventative and comfort measures I've been doing.

-Only wear 100% cotton underwear and wash underwear in a separate wash with Woolite.
-I carry around a cushioned tube I got from CVS that I covered with a pillow case. I bring it everywhere and it makes it so much easier to sit down. I recommend this foam tube instead of the blow up tubes you see.
-I do not ride bikes anymore.
-I normally wear rather loose pants, although I hate looking like a "shlump" so I still wear jeans often. I can no longer where my uniform tennis skirts because of the tight spandex underneath and have resorted to shorts.
-I try and take baths as often as I can and put 2-3 tablespoons of baking soda in it with me.
-I do not put soap around my vulvar area but simply rinse with water.
-I changed my soap to a non-scented basic soap- Dove has a lot of good soaps to use.
-I find it VERY helpful to ice/heat the area as much as I can during the day. I wish it was easy to bring an ice pack to my classes, but I'm not sure I could do that. I don't have a great freezer in my dorm, so I actually wet a washcloth and put it in the freezer. I'm icing now and it really helps the pain.
-I'm trying to follow a low oxalate diet which you can look up online. I'm not sure if it works or not, but I might as well try.
-I don't like taking pain medication, but I've tried taking Aleve for pain, although it hasn't helped too much and I don't like using it often.
-When I have my period, I switched to Kotex, non-scented pads, which are supposed to be helpful.

That's all I can think of right now, but please add any other comfort/preventative measures you found helpful (or not helpful I guess.) 

Tomorrow I am going to sit down with all my professors and tell them what exactly is going on so they understand why I've missed class and why I will have absences in the future. I'm very nervous and hope they take it well. 

I'm still in a daze- a lot of things have happened very quickly. But I thank everyone who has made the effort to read this because it does mean so much to me. And everyone who has messaged me- thank you. I haven't been in the fighting mood lately, but you all make it easier to keep going.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Tamra!

It's Kerry, your wonderful CHS friend and future amazing roommate. I just wanted to say that I'm really proud of you for coming out and starting this blog. You've been very brave with sharing your story and issues with people who care and I just want you to know that we all support you and if you ever want to just talk or laugh or eat ice cream, call me. You're taking a great step, Tamra!

Love,
Kerry

Anonymous said...

Tamara,

This is Tom Sales. So I was on face book and minifeed said "read my blog". Did not see any of this coming.
I'm glad you're feeling comfortable enough to talk about your condition. For what it's worth I hope you get better. Also, there's nothing wrong with breaking down sometimes. It doesn't mean you're weak; it means you're human. Also, you're rofoundly tall and thin, you can wear loose pants and not look frumpy.
I took most of the IR classes TCNJ offers allready. If you ever need help with anything, I'm happy to oblige, starting with this handy piece of advice. I know how to get a minature freezer in your room. It's a huge violation of poliy, but I also know how to cover it up.
Here's what you do. You get one of those tiny fridges, the short square ones. You replace the tempertaure regulator with one for a freezer. You get the fridge from Walmart for 30-50 bucks and the temperature regulator from either a hardware store or a junkyard. This will break the fridge and render it worthless after several months, since it will be working at 110% the whole time. But it should work for the rest of the semester. I've never switched out the regulators myeself, but I know people who have and I've seen it done so worse comes to worse I can probably do it for you. Viola, you have a full service freezer.

Anonymous said...

I can't belive I speeled your name wrong. I am an idiot.

Anonymous said...

Hey Tamra!
I think it's awesome that you're keeping a blog about this because it'll definately help people going through the same thing who are too shy to talk about it...way to be a vagina warrior! hehe :)
Love,
Lemor :)

Ryan Epp said...

I know this is pretty delayed, but I am happy that you're able to talk about it so openly now. I'm proud of how far you've come. I remember when you had originally started to explain it to me, and I was pretty confused. This is a pretty awesome thing you're doing, and I support you fully. Yay for you Tamra!

Love,
Ryan

Anonymous said...

the low oxalate diet reduced my pain to 80%. it is SO worth a try!

Anonymous said...

Hey,
I suffer from vulvar vestibulitis too. I just wanted to write and say that, although we've never met, I completely support you for writing this blog and 'coming out' about this! There is so much suffering going on - in part because people won't talk about such a 'taboo' topic, as you said. I just want you to know that there is somebody else going through this (as I'm sure you already know). Keep writing!