"Birds make great sky-circles
of their freedom.
How do they learn it?
They fall, and falling,
they are given wings."

-Rumi (translated by Coleman Barks)

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Happy Birthday to me

I swear, all I want to do is write good things and good news on this blog. I don't want it to be a depressing long sequence of events. But I guess that is life right now.

Yesterday was my birthday and I finally got out of my "teens" and turned 20. The day began well- I finally was able to go back to tennis practice after being out with the flu and a million other things. Then I drove off campus to run some errands. On my way back to campus I got rear ended while I was stopped at a red light. It was my first accident and extremely scary. I got hit into the car in front of me and my foot ended up on the gas pressed down all the way. I finally was able to slam on the breaks. Surprisingly, my car seems perfectly fine, but my back isn't too great. I'm going to my chiropractors tomorrow and we will see if I need it X-rayed, etc. 

I know I was lucky that the accident wasn't too bad, but I still consider myself incredible unlucky. I just don't understand. I keep getting caught up with work for school, and then something outrageous happens. I am very happy my birthday ended well though. I wasn't going to let the accident stop me from getting my birthday jam at LAB, a blues and lindy dance in Philly. I'm so thankful for everyone there for making the day so much better. 

I just don't know what to even think or feel anymore. I feel numb right now. I have always been a good student, but I have lost all motivation to be at school anymore. If I didn't have a month left, I would seriously consider leaving and taking a break. I keep looking forward to going to Africa this summer. The last week I'm there, I want to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. Apparently the school might not let me due to liability reasons. But they don't understand how badly I need to climb it. It would be not only be a physical achievement, but mentally it would prove to me that I am not weak and that I can still do great things. 

My head hurts too much to think of what else to write. I'm beyond frustrated, beyond upset. In need some good news soon. I want to thank everyone for all the birthday wishes- and I wanted to thank everyone who still reads this. I still get a lot of visitors every day and it means a lot. Please continue to comment and share your own stories and opinions. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You need a hug, a rabbit's foot and some ibuprofen. And like the school can stop you from climbing a mountain. Just do it. Are they going to send Kenyan RA's after you? Didn't think so.